Does Sexual Shame Drive Paired Substance/Sex Behaviors?

Dr. David Fawcett

No shame is more powerful than sexual shame. Often, sexual shame is linked to unresolved early-life sexual trauma. People who experience sexual abuse, neglect, violence, verbal abuse, narcissistic parenting, spiritual abuse, and other types of early-life trauma, especially if that trauma is somehow sexual in nature, often struggle as adults with poor relationship choices, chronic infidelity, sex/porn addiction, and substance abuse.

There are numerous ways in which sexual shame drives paired substance/sex behaviors:

• Using to enjoy (or tolerate) sex.
• Using while re-enacting various forms of unresolved sexual trauma (as an attempt to master it or take control over it).
• Using to numb shame about specific (often hidden and unwanted) sexual desires like same-sex or transgender attractions.
• Using to numb shame about sexuality in general, as if sex is something dirty and to be avoided.
• Using as a way to disinhibit oneself sexually.
• Using to escape the emotional discomfort that (for some) sets in after sex.
• Using to overcome chronically low self-esteem – to feel empowered and more attractive in the pursuit of sex.

Whatever is driving the behavior, the pairing of substances with sex can become a serious issue requiring specialized treatment, as offered by Seeking Integrity. Sadly, expertise in treating this unique dual addiction is virtually nonexistent out of Seeking Integrity. If you think you or a loved one may be struggling with paired substance use and sexual behaviors, we suggest you take this anonymous 25-question substance use and sexual disorders screening test.

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If you or someone you care about is struggling with chemsex or any other form of paired substance/sex addiction, you may want to consider Residential Treatment with Seeking Integrity. Separating yourself from active addiction with inpatient rehab for sex/substance addiction is a great way to jumpstart recovery. And at Seeking Integrity, we will treat both halves of your addiction in ways that can lead you to lasting sobriety.